I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
