dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
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first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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