I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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