with your own penis?
This girl is more easily done than said...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
