Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
