oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
