Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
