Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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