So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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