He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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