Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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