We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The Olympian is in my bed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
