I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
