ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
