the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
