Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
