Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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