you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
