My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
