There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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