I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
