I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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