She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
