Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
