I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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