This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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