I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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