Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
