hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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