my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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