Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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