My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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