is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize