I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
