yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
