I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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