dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
