dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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