i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
