billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
operation harelip BJ is a go
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
