What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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