its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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