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the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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