I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
