I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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