well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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