Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I believe in your delicious
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize