The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
