I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
