Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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