love makes seman taste better
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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