Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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